kaligrrrl: (Default)
I did some depression research tonight, because that's what I do. research things.

I've had several major depressive episodes in my life but in the last 10 years or so, I've mostly experienced recurrant brief depression, which "is associated with considerable suicidality and treatment-seeking and is comorbid with anxiety disorders. Patients with combined major and recurrent brief depression are more severely affected, have a higher suicide attempt rate, and have an increased frequency of treatment-seeking than patients with only one condition."


My depression is also atypical depression, "characterized by mood reactivity — being able to experience improved mood in response to positive events...reversed vegetative symptoms, namely over-eating and over-sleeping, and separately by interpersonal rejection sensitivity." also, atypical depression "tends to cause greater functional impairment than other forms of depression."


I also occasionally have agitated depression, marked by "agitation, anxiety, fatigue, guilt, impulsiveness, irritability, morbid or suicidal ideation, panic, paranoia, pressured speech and rage," which is associated with a familial history of bipolar disorder--hi mom! hi sister!--and may possibly be a variant of bipolar II disorder or the bridge between unipolar and bipolar depressions. mixed states are "often the most dangerous period of mood disorders, during which substance abuse, panic disorder, suicide attempts, and other complications increase greatly."

it's also seems that I have the "restive depression" subset of depressive disorder.


there's some interesting links between these kinds of depression and temporal lobe epilepsy, which my mom has. makes me wonder.


I find this stuff fascinating. maybe it's be helpful too.
kaligrrrl: (bluestocking)
inspired by [livejournal.com profile] gfrancie's post about a rather idiosyncratic 100 best books list, here's mine.

it's entirely personal, with no claims to great merit, but these are the books that live inside me--novels, non-fiction, graphic novels and poetry.

order means nothing.

I've listed out series of three or less individually and longer series as one entry.


1) Lolita, Vladmir Nabokov,

2) The Woman Warrior, Maxine Hong Kingston

3) Public Sex, Pat Califia

4) The Changeover, Margret Mahy

5) The Mysteries of Udolpho, Ann Radcliffe

6) A Room with a View, E. M. Forster

7) Woman on the Edge of Time, Marge Piercy

8) The Moonstone, Wilkie Collins

9) Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

10) The Moon Under Her Feet, Klysta Kinstler

11) The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley

12) A Natural History of the Senses, Dianne Ackerman

13) Snowcrash, Neal Stephenson

14) Beloved, Toni Morrison

15) Patience and Sarah, Isabel Miller

16) Mara, Daughter of the Nile, Eloise McGraw

17) Deerskin, Robin McKinley

19) Lost Souls, Poppy Z. Brite

20) Darkness, Take my Hand, Dennis Lehane

21) Kushiel's Dart, Jacqueline Carey

22) Kushiel's Chosen, Jacqueline Carey

23) Kushiel's Avatar, Jacqueline Carey

24) Persuasion, Jane Austen

25) 1984, George Orwell

26) The Wasp Factory, Iain Banks

27) Brave New World, Aldous Huxley

28) Herland, Charlotte Perkins Gilman

29) Generation X, Douglas Coupland

30) Sunshine, Robin McKinley

31) Great Expectations, Charles Dickens

32) Fabulous Nobodies, Lee Tulloch

33) The Hero and the Crown, Robin McKinley

34) The Blue Sword, Robin McKinley

35) The Darkangel, Meredith Ann Pierce

36) A Gathering of Gargoyles, Meredith Ann Pierce

37) The Pearl of the Soul of the World, Meredith Ann Pierce

38) The Omnivore's Dilemna, Michael Pollan

39) The Sandman, (the complete series), Neil Gaiman

40) Bastard out of Carolina, Dorothy Allison

41) Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte

42) The Vampire Lestat, Anne Rice

43) Dubliners, James Joyce

44) To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee

45) A Midsummer Night's Dream, William Shakespeare

46) Maus: A Survivor's Tale, Art Spiegelman

47) Persepolis, Marijane Satrapi

48) The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood

49) Perfume, Patrick Suskind

50) The Persian Boy, Mary Renault

51) Gaudy Night, Dorothy L. Sayers

52) Dune, Frank Herbert

53) Maurice, E.M. Forster

54) The Selected Poems of Rainer Maria Rilke, as translated by Stephen Mitchell

55) Ariel, Slyvia Plath

56) Selected Tales, Edgar Allan Poe

57) Belinda, Maria Edgeworth

58) Geek Love, Catherine Dunn

59) The Copper Crown, Patricia Kennealy-Morrison

60) The Throne of Scone, Patricia Kennealy-Morrison

61) Magic's Promise, Mercedes Lackey

62) Magic's Pawn, Mercedes Lackey

63) Magic's Price, Mercedes Lackey

64) The Secret History, Donna Tartt

65) The Weetzie Bat Books, Francesca Lia Block

66) Cut to the Quick, Kate Ross

67) A Broken Vessel, Kate Ross

68) Whom the Gods Love, Kate Ross

69) The Devil in Music, Kate Ross

70) Delta of Venus, Anais Nin

71) The Maturin-Aubrey Series, Patrick O'Brian

72) Dracula, Bram Stoker

73) Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman

74) the Wraeththu series, Storm Constantine

75) the Mary Russell books, Laurie R. King

76) the Gaslight Mysteries, Victoria Thompson

77. The Dragonriders of Pern, Anne Mcaffery

78) Bordertown, edited by Terri Windling

79) Vanity Fair, William Makepeace Thackeray

80) Drawing Blood, Poppy Z. Brite

81) Oathbound, Mercedes Lackey

82) Oathbreakers, Mercedes Lackey

83) Sunglasses after Dark, Nancy A. Collins

84) The Masquerdars, Georgette Heyer

85) Slow River, Nicola Griffith

86) Northanger Abby, Jane Austen

87) These Old Shades, Georgette Heyer

88) The Diamond Age, Neal Stephenson

89) The Grand Sophy, Georgette Heyer

90) Red as Blood, Tanith Lee

91) Tales From The Flat Earth, Tanith Lee

92) The Harper Hall books, Anne Mcaffery

93) The Monk, Matthew Lewis

94) Love and Rockets, the complete series, Gilbert and Jaime Hernandez

95) The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Alan Moore

96) Mermaids!, Gardner Dozois

97) Frankenstein, Mary Shelly

98) The Mirror of Her Dreams, Stephen R. Donaldson

99) A Man Rides Through, Stephen R. Donaldson

100) The Complete Poems, Emily Dickinson

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