dark goddess devotee's delrium tremens

I did some depression research tonight, because that's what I do. research things.

I've had several major depressive episodes in my life but in the last 10 years or so, I've mostly experienced recurrant brief depression, which "is associated with considerable suicidality and treatment-seeking and is comorbid with anxiety disorders. Patients with combined major and recurrent brief depression are more severely affected, have a higher suicide attempt rate, and have an increased frequency of treatment-seeking than patients with only one condition."


My depression is also atypical depression, "characterized by mood reactivity — being able to experience improved mood in response to positive events...reversed vegetative symptoms, namely over-eating and over-sleeping, and separately by interpersonal rejection sensitivity." also, atypical depression "tends to cause greater functional impairment than other forms of depression."


I also occasionally have agitated depression, marked by "agitation, anxiety, fatigue, guilt, impulsiveness, irritability, morbid or suicidal ideation, panic, paranoia, pressured speech and rage," which is associated with a familial history of bipolar disorder--hi mom! hi sister!--and may possibly be a variant of bipolar II disorder or the bridge between unipolar and bipolar depressions. mixed states are "often the most dangerous period of mood disorders, during which substance abuse, panic disorder, suicide attempts, and other complications increase greatly."

it's also seems that I have the "restive depression" subset of depressive disorder.


there's some interesting links between these kinds of depression and temporal lobe epilepsy, which my mom has. makes me wonder.


I find this stuff fascinating. maybe it's be helpful too.